Ditch the rules


As a woman I find that I am weighed down with numbers constantly:
  • How many people have you slept with?
  • How many dates did you wait?
  • What's your dating rule? 
And honestly, it's driving me a little insane. Especially the "how long should you wait" saga that seems to creep up in the world; even from the most forward thinking people. 

Purely based on the fact that I have a vagina, it's expected that I have to wait X amount of time due to fear of being seen as "easy", "cheap" or whatever other insult is reeled off. Or you've got the problem that you have to play these games of waiting to "prove" that you're not these things - but why?

Why does sleeping with a guy on the first date mean you lack class? Or waiting until the fifth mean you are draped in it?

And why, I mean seriously, are you dating someone that even questions the fact you slept with them too soon.

I've been the girl who does both; I've waited and I've jumped straight in and honestly, it doesn't make a difference to the relationship long-term.

So why is dating, which is supposed to be fun, plagued with this overriding rule book of numbers, behaviours and do's & don'ts.

Why am I not supposed to do this, or am supposed to do that, why can't I forge my own path in a world that is full of swiping, fickle dating and fuckboys.

Another thing - you know what if you want to go on one date, smash and dash, then that is also fine and these conversations about girls being "whores", "sluts" and "slappers" need to stop. Sleeping with someone early on does not lessen your worth, it does not make you anything less than amazing and if someone thinks this then this falls onto them.

You're not "giving up" anything too quickly; you're making a choice dependent on how you feel in that moment.

On the topic of sex; sexual partners. Another number that's top of peoples list, and I can safely say that in any relationship I've been in it's one of the first things I have been asked.

There was a study last year concluding that 12 people is the ideal number of partners - but why are people building an ideal of sexual partners? If you have had 1 or 50, it makes you no less of a person nor does it take anything away from that person just because they have chosen to explore the options available to them.

And this "what is your number" or "what is your rule" needs to stop. It's yet another annoying part of the mindless swiping minefield that dating already is.


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