The World is your F#*%ing Oyster

You ever hear that saying "grab life by the balls and make it your own"? Yeah you probably have, and you need to listen up. You may be a regular reader of my blog and wonder where I have been - well let me tell you. I've been on a roller-coaster. A good, bad, horrible, fantastic roller-coaster. 

I've had the lowest and the highest points of my life in the past 4 months. I've cried more than I have ever cried, and laughed more than I have ever laughed. It's hard to even describe it, but I'll give it a bloody good try.

You know a post, which I have now deleted, about my struggles called Lets Be Frank it detailed everything I felt had gone wrong and everything I thought was right. That post meant a lot for me, and even more to me when I read it back when I was truly happy.I looked back and the main thing I learnt from the post was that my happiness then was based on other people making me happy. There wasn't one part that said I'm happy because I made myself happy. I've now learnt that this is the most important thing.

For me it's been the most important lesson I have learnt in the past couple of months. I know you are probably wondering why I will be saying these things given my previous sentiments about how happy life was, but the reality is now I am out I am realising I wasn't happy I was just settled. I think I had such a rocky few months that I settled for something I didn't want, or need. 

Despite this, I'm glad I did. I've learnt that settling for anything or anyone isn't what I want. I will ensure I am having the best, doing the best & being the best. I want more for myself than I have ever wanted for myself. I have the motivation I needed to get out there and just do bloody well for myself. 

You know, despite everything, I will always be thankful to my ex as he  forced me to move to London and it is here I come to love and call home. It's here I have begun the whirlwind journey of finding myself.

These things will always be tough, and you know I'm only 20...what do I know about life? Right. I don't know much, you're not wrong, but I'm learning and I was to use this as place to detail all my lessons. There were times when I was sat there thinking:

"Why the fuck has this happened to me? Am I the only girl who is going through this?"

Maybe I needed something, hopefully like what this will become, to just show me that life gets so much better when you realise what you truly want rather than what you think you want. 

The struggle is real sometimes, and being in London doesn't make it easier. There are times when it chews you up and spits you back out, and not one part of you wants to get back up again. I won't lie I felt just like this for a while, I considered giving up my new job and moving back to Kent permanently. 

But why the hell shall I do that?

Losing someone I spent a large amount of time with and came to be very close to gave me the kick up my arse to focus on myself. I focused on improving myself and my life. I worked hard, I worked out, I lost weight, I met new people - I started the journey of becoming the person I have wanted to be for a very long time.

There is no day I don't have the motivation to be the best version of myself.

My aim now isn't to please somebody else, but to please myself. I've learnt that I don't need anyone to love me because I love myself enough to not care. I don't care if that guy I date doesn't like my sense of humour. Why? Because I like my sense of humour. I like the fact I refuse to take myself too seriously, and if I want to be a little silly then so be it.

They say you can't play God with you life, but they are wrong. No-one can stop you achieving what you want - whether it's something small like buying a dress or something big like getting your dream job. I'm not there yet, but believe me I will be.

Now those are my sentiments on what's been going on, and a somewhat less personal post on why I have been away. But I'm back - with some more London based posts. From dating in London, to the best restaurants I've found. I've tried and tested my fair few in the past couple of months and believe me you are in for a treat.

We're thinking that Style Devoured ought to start being more about eating in stylish places, because this chick just ain't got time to be strutting around Kensington for photos no more.

God, how sassy of me.

I'm not saying that I won't be delving into fashion from time to time. Believe me, I love a good fashion post. But my true passion lies in life. I've quit spending hundreds on clothes and instead I'm spending hundreds on eating out, great compromise right? Tell that to my muffin top.

I'll leave you with some images of what I've been gallivanting around doing for now, but keep posted for restaurant reviews or perhaps you fancy a prohibition themed night out? Maybe you ever want to head out in the 'cool' places in town, but on a budget?

I've also got some truly awful dating stories I will care to share, because after all ladies sharing is caring. If I can't share my embarrassing stories with someone then why the hell am I letting them happen?

I just wanted to let you know that Style Devoured isn't quite retiring yet, it's been an on and off hobby of mine for nearly four years and I'm not ready to leave it yet...especially when life is just getting exceptionally fun. 

Join me in my adventure of growing up, eating out and dating shit guys. 

Always Yours,
Kassie x

STALK ME?
Tweet me on @kassiebarkerj
Instagram me on @kassiebarkerj
Snap me @ kassiebarkerj