GROWING UP

Life - it really isn't that easy. It is not unknown that life is about learning - but in my 19 years I have learnt an awful lot. I've learnt about friends, family, jobs, education, the good and the bad. As a child, or teenager, you're presented with endless choices and opportunities. What do you want to be? Where do you want to go? What is your life goal? Rather ironically, at the age of 16 I had a better idea of my life than I do now. But that's okay - because life is really what you make it. Cliche, I know. 

How I saw it; University to study Law or History, to then join a graduate law scheme in the city, to then gradually work my way into Corporate law. At the age of 16 I was dreaming of the days spent studying Law and practicing it. Hours went into me working hard to get the grades, planning my university venture (I had my heart set on Exeter).

Reality was the hardest part for me. In all honesty - my dreams completely dropped to the floor. As I was about to take my exams everything flipped on its head - details I won't disclose - and unfortunately my dreams of a Lawyer were indefinitely put on hold. Upset was an understatement. For me - doing this was a way of proving myself. Unfortunately, as I've learnt, we live in a world in which everyone wants, almost needs, to have an opinion on your life and your background. Good or bad. You will find yourself in the position of being judged on something that is out of your control. Held back for something you perhaps didn't do - yeah society kinda sucks.

However as bitter as I sound - I don't hate my life. Do I think society is slilghty very flawed? Of course, but society cannot control you. One thing I have learnt about life is that you know what - shit happens. Whether you like it or not - but you can let this define you or ruin you. For me - I let the shit, the judgement and the expectations of failure spur me on. I have found myself at 19 - very little qualifications, very small support system with regards to family and far too many pushbacks that I can count. BUT these little negatives spur me on in the positives. It means I have no choice but to do everything for myself. Working my arse off is a given, taking risks and just living. I recently have agreed to take the biggest risk of my life (as of yet, I hope there will be more) and move to London. Moving from a secure place in Kent, with a secure job - to a place which can chew you up and spit you out within a couple of months. Oddly - with this in mind - I literally cannot wait. 

The main thing I have learnt from being catapulted into growing up is that life really is what you make it. The shit things will happen - that's a given - but you use that as motivation to spur yourself on. I'll be honest - there have been times where I have sat around moping and thinking everything is rubbish. I ignored the good and focused on the bad. But 6 months down the line - I am happier than I have ever been. I've focused on the ones who care, made a life for myself and followed every dream I have - despite the risk. I really am very lucky - at 19 I have the most supportive and caring boyfriend I could ask for. Nothing is too much, despite the crap I throw at him (believe me there's been tons) which makes you realise the people who are this amazing need to be kept hold of. More valuable than any amount of money.

Remember who your friends are, the people who genuinely care and never forget your dreams. Wake up every morning with the ambition to complete something new that day, do something new or do something which is going to help you progress. Don't get stuck in a rut, it's the biggest dream killer in my belief. 

Keep dreaming. 

KASSIE

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